Definition of John-Lloyd:
In this post, "John-Lloyd" will be used as a verb and/or adverb (grammar Nazis feel free to correct me please) to refer to how the actor John Lloyd Cruz referred to his public persona in the edition of People Asia Magazine (?). According to John Lloyd Cruz the actor, his public persona is something he values and takes care of as that is how he is `packaged.' Essentially, this `packaging' is something he treasures and consistently attends to.
John-Lloyd will then be synonymous to how one SHOWS / PRESENTS himself to whoever he deems important for his survival (be it emotional/financial, psychological etc.).
This `showing' and `presenting' trumps everything else - specially the truth - since what is important is how a person skillfully makes you believe what he wants you to believe.
Your positive perception of him (as according to what he wants you to perceive about him) is his end goal.
John-Lloyd is also synonymous to the process of convincing someone to believe what he wants you to believe. Similar to the way a credit card marketer is convincing you to acquire a card, the same way a promodizer wants you to buy chocolate-flavored milk, the same way a priest wants you to believe about God and/or the salvation of your soul.
Use John-Lloyd in a sentence.
"Sabi mo walang bukas na imburnal dito, ba`t ako nahulog? Jina-John-lloyd mo bako?"
(Putting me on; Niloloko)
"Hoy Asiong, hinahanap ka ni Eva nung umaga, ni Lorna nung hapon, saka ni Fe kagabi. Nagpapaka-John-Lloyd ka na naman ba!?"
(Feeling too sexy for only 1 "love")
Him: Sorry na. Wala na talaga kami ni Foofa.
Her: Eh bat tumatawag pa sya sayo?
Him: (Smiles sheepishly while running his hand through his hair) Ang John-Lloyd ko daw kasi eh.
(Pogi, adorable, charming, charismatic)
Take note though that the term John-Lloyd need not be explicitly used in a sentence yet still denote John-Lloydiness.
One example is a line from the movie Unofficially Yours:
The scene is where Mackie is telling Ces all about Singapore and volunteers to get her a ticket after learning that she will be going to SGP without him. Her going away signals the end of their FWB-relationship.
Ces: Stop being so nice!
Mackie: Ganto lang naman ako kasi mahal kita.
As shown by Mackie's line, the process of convincing - in this case that he is being loving - uses tactics such as guilt and manipulation. The point is for the attention to be put on you so you will fail to see what he is doing to manipulate your feelings.
And it worked!
See and hear Ces say:
Ces: Lalo ako nahihirapan eh.
Girl, that is his point.
Also note that, "Truthful people convey, liars convince." (Janine Driver)
So what should you do if someone is doing a John-Lloyd on you?
My best suggestion is for you to not believe what he is saying.
But, we all know that when someone tells us "Don't!" we usually go the opposite route and "Do."
Admittedly, not believing what he is saying is is easier said than done specially when you so want to believe everything he is saying because you're invested in the relationship.
So simply accept the fact that you want to believe him.
Accept your desire of wanting to believe him.
Allow yourself to feel the desperation of wanting to believe all of what he is saying.
Doing this helps get your anxiety out of the way.
Once you put your anxiety aside, you have nothing else to do but
let the burden of proof come from him not you.
If you find yourself rationalizing the reasons of why you believe him, STOP!
Rationalization is your way of convincing yourself something which your body knows is untrue but your mind wants to believe as true. When you catch yourself rationalizing away anything, you are doing a John-Lloyd/you're putting the charm on/ you are deceiving You.
Look carefully at what you're rationalizing about. What is it that you are telling yourself and want to accept as true?
"He only did it because he's sad and lonely."
"He really didnt mean it, he was just at the lowest point in his life."
"He'll change. I know he will. I'll help him, I'll make him, I'll save him."
Honey, if you have to convince yourself of something, you highly likely do not believe it in the first place - though you want to. But you also know deep down that you dont have to.
Listen NOT to what he is saying.
For a change, listen to what your body is telling you. Doing this helps you to not be lured by his charm, his smile, his touch, his cuteness, his adorableness and everything-else-ness.
Listen to what your gut is telling you.
Your gut is your body's second brain.
Trust it. Heed it.
Act on your knowledge and awareness. Minus your beliefs, your desires, your illusions, what everybody else thinks, what everybody else says, what your mind is telling you,
you know what's best for you. This knowledge comes from clarity and simplicity. It does not come from your head or your heart alone. It comes from working out all the emotional muck, conditioned thought process, belief systems you have claimed and considered as your own but really isn't.
It comes from being honest with yourself. When you are honest with yourself, it is easy for you to detect falseness from others. This gives you the strength to see through and not be swayed by the powers any John-Lloyd does on you.
But the key is, you really have to intend to be true to you. Only then could others be true to you.
Unless, you really want someone to do a John-Lloyd on you, go ahead. But when you do, ask yourself, "Why?"
Remember no one, not even a thousand John-Lloyds, can exert power over you unless you let him.
When his powers of persuasion is trumping your good old common sense,
when you're tempted to give in,
when you're blinded by the treasures he is offering,
when your illusions are seemingly coming true right before your eyes, do not forget that that these are all smokes and mirrors;
say out loud, say out clear:
YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME,
own this. Heed this. Know this as true.
and feel his energy dissolve right before your eyes.
Only then can you be free.